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I once made a student cry.

Of course, I had all the excuses in the book: I was tired, she hadn’t worked hard enough on the assignment, she seemed only concerned about the grade.

But really, none of that mattered.

While I lined up groups of students in the back of the room to get their feedback on an essay, I told the others to begin reading the next assignment. Mary inched up to me, sure I would hand back her paper with glowing remarks.

“This is terrible,” I said, handing the paper to her.

Her eyes reddened. Standing there for a moment, she seemed unsure how to respond. Suddenly, the tears trickled, and she moved away quickly, returning to her seat.

To this day, I’m not sure why those words fell out of my mouth.

I know teaching is all about relationships. I know we must show authentic care and concern to create opportunities for students to learn. I know people respond better to kindness than hostility or fear.

Yet, that day I made a student cry. The words we use matter.

When I was in ninth grade, a science teacher stood in the front of my classroom holding a test.

“This person will be president one day,” he said sardonically, reading my answer to the question: What is life?

I remember being confused, but realized he was criticizing me. His words rolled around in my brain for years. The words we use matter.

Susan Carter Morgan